Today marks 1 year since the boys and I flew out to Wyoming to live with my family while Greg was deployed. I have been thinking a lot about what was going on a year ago and how I was feeling, and it kind of blows me away that a year has passed.
Leading up to the time we left, we were busy packing up our apartment and taking care of last minute details. I remember the morning the boys and I were to fly out feeling like I could make time slow down because we had all been so busy getting ready to move, that I felt like I never had a chance to really process Greg leaving.
That morning, we took the boys to a park to kill some time before our flight tool off. We got lunch and headed to the airport after that.
It was at the airport that I felt myself almost panicking. The boys and I were checked into our flight, and it was time for us to head through security. Greg was going to ask if he could help me through security since I was going to be juggling two small children on my own, but the answer was no and it felt like we were forced to say goodbye right then and there; I did not get the "proper" goodbye I was hoping for.
I remember I started crying and Deagan was concerned. He told me everything was ok, and didn't want me to cry. He has always hated it when I cry and will do anything to help to make me stop. I hugged and kissed Greg one more time, and Greg hugged and kissed the boys. It was a very hard moment. Even though I wasn't ready, it was time to say goodbye. I remember walking through security half aware. I was crying, so I could hardly see anything, and I was trying to rush to get us through security. I think we made it through smoothly, but I don't remember.
I looked back one more time at Greg before we moved on through the airport, and feeling an overwhelming feeling of sadness since it would be over 7 months until I would see Greg again.
Our flights went well, and the boys traveled as well as a 1 year and 4 year old does. I found some strength that I didn't know I had and used that to get through the rest of the day of traveling. We made it safely in Wyoming, and I remember feeling a mixture of emotions. I was SO excited for the time I was going to have with my family, but sad that our family was apart.
That night, after we got in bed, I broke down. I went to my mom and cried like I did to her when I was young. Reality really sunk I'm then. I felt like I should have told Greg I loved him 1 more time, or kissed him one more time. I was afraid he wouldn't come home and I would always wish I had done more. It was a hard night.
My mom gave me the idea to write to him at night what I would say if he was there, and that helped a lot for awhile.
The past year has been an amazing and an amazingly hard year. We have experienced a number of hardships, but we have also experienced an abundance of blessings. I wouldn't trade the past year for anything. The time I had with my family was truly wonderful. I have so many amazing memories, and the boys developed a bond with extended family that I'm so grateful for.
The 6 months since Greg has been home has been amazing as well. Our lives have changed so much. While our life is not perfect since Greg is home, our life feels more complete. I am so grateful for this past year.
4 comments:
I'm sure the time you spent with your family was priceless for them too. And... a very, very small minuscule perk to all the hardship was that we got to spend lunch together in Powell. I was so happy to see you.
This week Bryan went to Pittsburgh without me and Camilla. We have lived apart for several months in the past, certainly not in a dangerous place like with Greg, but I found that having a child makes it SO much harder! It was only a week and I was so depressed. I can't even imagine having to say goodbye in the impersonal and chaotic environment of the airport. You're a strong women Michelle and you certainly deserve all the blessings that followed that hard moment.
A heart wrenching post. When my hubby went overseas was a time I will never forget. Absence makes you realize the things you may have taken for granted. I feel we are better for those times we spent apart.
Glad we found reach others blogs! Saw you last night at cafe rio. We were just getting ready to leave as you came in. Saying hi now! !!!!!
You are an amazing woman! So glad that we get the chance to know you and your family.
I have often thought about what I might do and what it would be like if my husband deployed. I truly admire you and all the other spouses who have had to go through that.
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