As of late..

I feel like a broke record, but we are struggling with Kadyen and his sleep again.  It seems that our boys are exactly alike in this area, and that seriously makes me sick to my stomach because we struggled so much with Deagan.  I don't know if I can handle this again, but I will have to.  I don't know what to do.

  

There has to be some explanation to why we are struggling so much right now; teething maybe? I took him to the Dr last week to check out a possible ear infection, and there is nothing like that wrong.  But he is just not sleeping well! 

I feel defeated.

Despite that, I wanted to post some pictures of our boys to remind me of how blessed I am despite how challenging things feel right now.  It seems like good therapy.

New haircut! Doesn't he look so much older!

Blue eyed boy! I think he was just getting over being sick in this picture, so he looks really pale.  But maybe he is always that color? Our boys have fair skin like their momma!

Playing together on a Sunday afternoon.  I love how they are starting to play together!

Neither one of them are willing to let the other on the car.

Cheese!

Caught him mid blink.  Still a cute picture!

Look at that smile. He is up to something!

 These next few pictures are so cute to me.  He looks so chunky! I just love his smile!

Deagan pretending that the computer charger cord is a rope:

He stole Deagan's smoothie straw! He is getting so good at drinking from a straw.

Dancing to "Cat in the Hat"

Just too darn cute to stay upset at!

Where to go from here...

Well Greg did not get the job.  It was a hard rejection on both of us (more on him than me) but it has been tough to recover from.

He graduates in May, and not knowing where we will be going next is getting kind of scary.  I know that we will be lead to where the Lord wants us; I have no doubt of that.  But this is just a tough and scary time to be looking for jobs.  Please pray for us!

He does have an internship that is lined up for the summer, so we SOMETHING to fall back on.  Luckily we still have a few months until he is done, so we are praying that something works out in that time.

The hardest thing about all of this for me is that I don't like seeing Greg disappointed. Nothing I say or do can help him feel better, and that is hard for me.  To me, he is the most qualified and perfectly capable person for the job.  It is hard to not take rejection personally, but that is what he is trying to not do.  He is a lot better than me.

We are remaining optimistic, and we have amazing family and friends that are encouraging and supportive.  We are blessed.

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In other news, it is 54 degrees here today!!! We were in town this afternoon, and I was not wearing a coat.  It was heavenly! Deagan was even in the back yard playing for a while with no coat on.  This warm weather is only suppose to stay around today and then it is going to get back to single digits as a low this next week.  This warms weather is just teasing us, but I will take it for the time being!

Just me and the boys!

So Greg left this afternoon for his job interview and will be back tomorrow night.  It is just me and the boys now! This morning was really crazy busy for some reason, and I was not happy with how we all parted this morning.  I envisioned it being much more exciting and romantic, but we were both running in different directions.  Sad, but it isn't the end of the world I know.  I think I just get these ideas in my head how I want certain things and events to play out, but I forget to take into account that when other people are involved I can't control the situation.  You think I would learn this by now, but I am still learning!

Despite the rough start to the day, it has been a really good day.  As soon as Greg left I said a prayer that I would have a good attitude and just be able to have fun with the boys while I am by myself, and I believe that prayer has been answered.  I am very grateful for that!  After Deagan's preschool, we went to the movies and saw "Gnomeo and Juliet." (Don't waste your money on this one.  It was a painful hour and half; but that also might have had something to do with chasing an almost 1 year old up and down the stairs. Luckily we were the only people in the theater.) Deagan loves going to the movie; especially 3D ones.  He likes to get his 3D glasses, but doesn't really wear them.  It is so funny to me the age that we live in.  We will watch a preview for a movie now and he will ask "Is that in 3D?"

After the movies, we came back and let the baby rest.  We then went to the local Y so I could work out and the boys could play in the kids room. (I LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE the fact that the gym has child care.  It really is my most favorite thing about where we live sometimes.) We got home a lot later than I was expecting, but I had dinner in the crock pot so dinner was easy and the boys went to bed easy! Not too bad with dad being gone! I was worried how tonight would go, and while the boys did not get their normal bath before bed I think we did ok.

With Greg being gone, I realize how much I depend on him.  He really is my better half and he makes me feel safe and secure.  Not that I don't feel that now, but I find myself more anxious with him gone.  I am so grateful to have him in my life, and I am so blessed that he has the drive and ambition that he does.  Because of that he has TWO job interviews tomorrow with some big name companies.  I am so proud of him and the hard work that he has put into grad school these past 2 years.  He is a great provider for our family, and I love him so much for that.

Tomorrow is another day with just the three of us, but I am excited for it! I have lots of things I want to do, so I am sure we will not be bored.

Now its on to cleaning and watching my shows; by myself.  I am actually excited about it, so don't feel too bad for me! :)

These little cuties!

Life can be crazy, but I am glad that I get to spend my time with these little cuties!

Play time

What?

Trying to look outside at the sun!

Getting so tall!

Cute little smile!

Cheese!

Kayden wants to be anywhere where Deagan is!

It has been so cold here and the skies have been so gray, but we actually had a few days where the sun was shining! It was heavenly, and so rare that I had to take a picture of the event.

Kayden has had the stomach flu the past few days, and he has tried to become my 5th appendage as a result.  Yesterday I was working out, and he wanted to be right in the middle of it.  Not the most convenient, but there is always room for this little guy!

Life is good here, but we are anxious for all of us to return to good health and for spring time to come!

In other news, Greg has a couple of interviews for jobs this week in the DC area! We are so excited but also a little anxious because we don't want to get our hopes up.  Pray for him!

Tired of hearing about our car?

Well so are we, but that won't stop me from posting some more about it! (Its for posterity's sake.)

Our car has 130,000+ miles on it, and it is beginning to show its age and wear.

For example:

-The right windshield wiper has ripped off. (But I think this might have more to do with all the snow and ice we have had this winter and not just its age.) I am glad it is the right side because it gives us the excuse to wait to fix it. We aren't lazy, it is just way to cold to think about fixing something outside.

-The middle seat belt in the middle seat is permanently pulled out all the way. Deagan got tangled up in it somehow and in panic pulled it out as far as it would go and somehow made it so it won't go back in. This isn't a huge deal since I normally only drive with myself and the boys.  But it is just goes to the list of things that need to be fixed.

**But now as I write these things I realize this all happened since we got the car this past summer.  Maybe it isn't the age that is killing the car; its us!**

Either way, the car is getting old and doing weird things.

The newest weird thing is that the car alarm randomly goes off for no apparent reason and at really odd times.  It started a few nights ago at around midnight.  I woke up in a panic thinking that someone was trying to steal our car.  No one was thankfully, but it went off over and over all night.  Greg ended up sleeping with the keys, and would sit up in bed and hit the "unlock" button every time it went off.  Neither one of us slept well that night, and both boys ended up in our bed because they kept getting woken up by the alarm as well.  (I am sure a few of our neighbors were in that same situation. :s)

It did it again the next day during the day, thankfully, and then yesterday it got really bad.  I was picking up Deagan from preschool, and someone came up to me in a panic telling me that our alarm was going off and someone else asked me if the baby was playing with the keys.  Nope; our car is just awesome.

Then last night while I was grocery shopping, I hear over the loud speaker, "Will the owner of a white Toyota with a Wyoming license plate please report to Customer Service?"Yep; the alarm was going off in the parking lot, so I had to leave my cart full of food at their desk and run out to turn it off.

I got home from the store, and it seemed to be possessed or something because it went off AT LEAST 10 times before 11.  Greg tried everything he could to get it to stop; he took out the horn fuses and even tried to disconnect the battery.  But the alarm has a mind of its own and would not be stopped.  Before we went to bed, we prayed that the alarm would stop going off.  It felt like a silly thing to pray for, but I knew that even Heavenly Father cared about our car.  Greg finally had the thought to leave the car unlocked to see if that made a difference, and amazingly enough it did! It did not go off again after that.  The downside though is that the car is unlocked, and we live in a sketchy area.

We took it in today and they don't know what is wrong but think that it is going off because of a very large crack in the windshield.  (Another sign of the cars age; or wait, maybe a sign of how poor the owners of the car are?) It kind of sounds like a weird solution to me, but I don't know anything about cars so who am I to judge? Either way, our insurance will pay to have the windshield replaced and we are hoping that fixes this silly problem.

This silly car of ours; I tell you what.

Google It

This morning we woke up to a flat tire.  Not the best way to start the day.

I felt bad that Greg was the one who had to do it, but really there was no other option.  I thought about being a really nice wife and offering to change it, but then I remembered I have no idea where I would begin in trying to change a tire, so I held that thought back.  (As a side note, I really should learn how to do that though sometime.)

It was a really cold morning on top of having a flat tire, but Greg being the good sport that he is got bundled up and head out to change it.  I was doing the dishes while he was changing it, and I could tell it was not going as well as he would have liked.  He couldn't get the flat tire off and worked on it for a while.  I could tell he was getting frustrated, and I was getting worried because he was getting worried.  I prayed to myself that he would figure something out.

He came in not really sure what to do, so I suggested we pray for help.  Deagan offered to pray, and his prayer was "Dear Heavenly Father, thanks for helping daddy take the tire on. Amen." We thanked him for his prayer, and Greg went back out to see if he could work on it again.  While he was outside, I asked Deagan if he wouldn't mind praying this time to help daddy take the tire OFF. So he did, and it was precious.  Greg came in a few minutes later and said that he thought he should google it. So after a few minutes checking message boards on the topic, he went outside and managed to get the tire off! Success!

Later in the day Greg mentioned that he felt that our prayer was answered when he was prompted to google the problem, and I believe that that is true as well.  It is a wonderful day we live in where we can even find inspiration through google to help us in our daily lives.

So next time you need an answer; google it.

When you ask God to help you improve a flaw...

...He listens and gives you a chance to do better.

I love that.

This year I have been trying to get up before anyone else is awake and before work (which ends up being around 5 am) to study scriptures.  Its early, but I actually really love it.  I love being awake before everyone else and having time to study in peace and quite and to feel the spirit.  It is a great way to start the day, and really you all should try it :)

One morning during my study I was focusing on how I could do better.  I was feeling particularly grumpy for some reason, and I was studying to help that feeling go away.  I realized that I needed to focus more time and energy on serving other people, so I prayed that I would have a chance to be in service of someone that day.

We have great next door neighbors.  We feel really blessed.  They are a young couple and they have been a great support to have since moving here.  The husband has been out of town this whole week, and the wife has needed help with their business and getting around.  She doesn't drive, so we have been giving her rides all over.  While it has not been really convenient, it has given us a lot of opportunities to talk and to share our beliefs with her.  There truly is something great about serving others.  You feel better after doing so, and I love that feeling.  It has been a challenging week, but I realize that I asked for it when I prayed to know how I could improve myself.  I know my prayer was answered! It is a great blessing to know we are not alone.